He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
