I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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