So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
