That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
