so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize