Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
