Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Farmville is her only friend.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The power of my boobs compel you
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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