Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
