So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
