I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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