Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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