Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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