Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
