i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
