yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
