Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I had to cum in my sink.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwadâ€
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