Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
