I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
