he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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