I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
