have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
