Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
