The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
