i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
