It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
