Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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