Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
