How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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