I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
