found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
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Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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