guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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