Welp...herpes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
