Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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