and she was petting her beer can
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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