i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
