she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
