let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
