I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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