fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
