I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
