You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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