Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
