Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Gay?
German.
Pity.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
