You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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