i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
