my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
