Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
