So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
