Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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