I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
