you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
