I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
