What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
handjob tips. give me some.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
