I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
