One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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