He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
