I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
