i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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