Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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