so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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