pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There r osticjed everywhere
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
