people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
