My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
