doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
