soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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