He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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