so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
