I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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